Unexpected VisitsStarted by Inxae Duskbane at Nov 10, 2019 11:52 pm
Falanna 73, 1 AOH
"Slow down," Inxae called, shifting the basket onto one hip. The words were pointless. Moraxin would bolt across the ice if Moraxin wanted to bolt across the ice, and Inxae warning not to do that wouldn't solve the issue, of course. Instead, Inxae decided to watch and make sure Moraxin didn't fall along the way, because that was really the only thing to do. Inxae had been promising they'd come to Sarizobahael and check in on Inxae's family at Ur-Padma for some time now, and Moraxin had started getting insistent about it. Inxae had brought along a basket of fresh fruits from Zallahta. Little grew on Sarizobahael, and fruit was always a nice gift.
"I won't fall," Moraxin insisted.
"I trust you," Inxae answered. "But I can't say I trust the ice." The ice, of course, would do whatever it was the ice wanted to do, and typically, that was be very slick.
Moraxin looked a hair confused, but did, miraculously, slow down, much to Inxae's relief. "You're a slow poke," Moraxin decided, giggling in amusement as Inxae trailed behind. Moraxin had an insane level of energy, and that was part of why Inxae, despite grumbling, never did bother trying to separate Moraxin from Sheyanth. As much as Shey put strange ideas into the child's head, Shey also had the energy to keep up with Moraxin, and Inxae... didn't. Really, honestly didn't.
"I'm not slow," Inxae answered. "You're just way too fast!"
"Nuh-uh!" Moraxin answered. "That's not a thing!"
"Sure it is."
"Dama can keep up," Moraxin said, talking about Edornis. "Why can't you?"
"Trust me kiddo," Inxae answered, smiling in amusement. "Dama can't keep as well as you'd think."
Moraxin quickly slowed down as they reached the gates of Ur-Padma. Despite most of those posted as guards around being Nightmare Crusade, Moraxin still found unfamiliar people intimidating. It was logical, and Inxae dropped a hand from the basket and held it out. Moraxin immediately clung onto it, but notably attempted to keep from tripping Inxae up. They hadn't been in Ur-Padma long; Inxae didn't really know the way around very well, but the Crusade members were usually kind enough to point out where either Kentari or Balssysn would be.
"Inxae, hi!" One of the members on the inside of the gates greeted.
"Hi Ashlyn," Inxae answered.
"Ohh, hello kiddo," Ashlyn said, kneeling down to Moraxin's height. "You're getting really big! Are you seeing Kentari or Balssysn today?"
"Bally," Inxae said. Though, hopefully they'd see Kentari before they left, too.
"I do believe you want the library, down that way," Ashlyn answered.
"Thank you," Inxae said.
"Dank you!" Moraxin repeated, and waved as Inxae led the way toward the library. Inxae would wonder why the library, but it was pretty obvious if one knew Balssysn at all. Bally was a Forcer, and liked experimenting with Force. Inxae did too, but there wasn't much time for that when the Crusade was still trying to win the throne back from Shynriia. That was over. And thank the gods it was.
It didn't take long to find the library. Moraxin detached from Inxae's arm, squealing in joy. "BOOKS!!!" the child cried, and ran off into the shelves.
"Don't damage anything!" Inxae called after.
... well, the kid said that, but Inxae wondered sometimes. Anyway, Inxae was finding a Bally. The basket of fruit got set on a table for now, and Inxae went peeking around between shelves and at the varying desks scattered around. One of these had to be right, yes?
Balssysn was researching a few specific topics relating to force usage and what they did have on shade magic. The hope was to one day reverse the damage that the Shade magic had done to various layers - Sarizobahael included. Unfortunately, this was a much more easily spoken about task than it was one to do. That wasn't really surprising, in the end, most things were, after all. Still, they'd been hoping to find something they could use to at least attempt to start the process.
Probably they were thinking too big, but in the wake of the war, it was hard to not want to put everything back the way it should have been.
At any rate, to this end Bally was pretty firmly buried among the shelves, looking for books on the topic that they had settled on for the moment. It was hard to miss a child's happy squeal as they entered the library though. The voice was familiar, though they wouldn't have promised that it was actually Moraxin.
The Kasvetli paced along the shelves until they came to the end and could see into the rest of the library properly. Balssysn smiled as she spotted Inxae moving among the tables, clearly looking for something - or someone? Perhaps Inxae had been sent this way to find Bally. It would hardly be the first time that the siblings met up in such a way. The Crusade often knew where most members of the family were in Ur-Padma, after all. It was kind of their job to know.
"Inxae!" Balssysn greeted with a warm smile. "It's great to see you!" And it was, it was always great to see one's siblings. Especially after the war made it so that so many could never see their family again. Bally knew that their family was among the luckier ones. ... And certainly they had lost many they were close to as well.
Ah, and there was Balssysn. Inxae figured, with enough wandering around, Balssysn would eventually come this way, and they'd probably end up meeting one another halfway, because that did seem to be how things like that went. Moraxin screeched somewhere amid the shelves, "HI BALLY!" and then Inxae could vaguely hear the sound of books being pulled off shelves. Most likely, Moraxin would be busy reading for at least, oh, maybe five minutes. It gave Inxae the opportunity to exchange one or two words with Balssysn first before Moraxin got into telling the latest tall tale.
"Moraxin insisted we come by today," Inxae explained. "I've been meaning to anyway, and Edornis and Sheyanth are out doing Council things today. My best guess is Moraxin got bored." That seemed likely, and it was fair enough. Moraxin was allowed to be bored, compared to Sheyanth, Inxae was boring. Well, so life went.
"Since we're here, I brought fruit by," Inxae added. "How goes the diving into dusty old books looking for information that may or may not be there?" Inxae tried not to be a neg, honestly. If the shade wars had taught anything, though, it was that one shouldn't rely too heavily on things going right, because they sure did love to go wrong.
Most of the Duskrain side of the family was gone, now. It was hard to believe it, harder still to figure out how they were supposed to go forward with so much of their family missing. It wasn't like anyone had a choice. It was either learn to live without the losses, or give up, and kazan were generally too proud to give up, tempting though it may be, even if it was hard. Maybe especially if it was hard. The razziek in particular loved the challenge of getting through adversity mostly sane.
Unfortunately, Inxae wasn't razziek, and swung wildly between being ready to give up now, and trying to be less depressing. Edornis' entire race was gone, even, Inxae was being dramatic.
"Hello there," Balssysn called back, smiling a little before returning their attention fully back to Inxae. It was always a pleasure to see family around Ur-Padma, after all. Bally thought they could all probably use to spend more time together, after the war. They'd all lost so many people after all, that they should enjoy what they did have left.
"Ahh, I see." Bally sounded slightly amused. "Well, you're always welcome here, of course." No one would complain about seeing Inxae more often. "It's always nice to see you." Bally may have missed Inxae, honestly. They thought they were allowed though since it had been a little while since the last time.
Balssysn frowned. "Not well." They admitted quietly. "But I always knew the information I was looking for may not be here at all." Still, they thought it was worth looking for. If it wasn't there then at least Bally had tried. And if it was, maybe they could put it into effect and fix some of the damage. Maybe even if it wasn't Balsyssn would find something worthwhile in the pages and the hold histories.
"How are you holding up, Inxae?" It was worth asking after all. It'd been a little while since they saw each other last, and it was always good to know how one's sibling was managing. They'd lost a lot, even if not immediately close to them. Besides, if they were here, Bally could support Inxae a little, if the other needed it.
That's what family was for, and Edornis had been awfully busy, it seemed. It wasn't shocking, Edornis was the last necromancer now, and that meant that there was always something that needed doing, specifically by Edornis. It was sad and quite unfortunate honestly, Inxae didn't deserve to be alone as often as they were. But neither could Edornis abandon his other duties, so it wasn't an easy thing to balance out.
Of course. Inxae knew that, it was just that everyone had things that needed doing. Maybe the break for everyone wasn't a bad idea, but more often than not, it only led to Inxae feeling something like a burden. It was silly, probably, but nobody had ever claimed Inxae had a lot of self-esteem or sense of self-worth.
A lot of things had gone a bit awry since the start of the shade wars, and maybe it wasn't too strange that Inxae, of all the Kazan on Yanan, was having a difficult time adjusting to peace. Inxae was, through and through, a warrior, and when that was all you really knew how to do, and the war was suddenly over... it wasn't like anyone wished for the shade wars back. It'd been a desperate moment the shades had driven everyone to, and no one was sad to see it over. But they'd all lost so much along the way, and sometimes it felt like moving on without those things and people they'd lost was so much harder than it seemed like it'd be when the wars were still raging.
But then, what had changed? Maybe the truth was, it was the people that had changed. Maybe all of them had some semblance of an inability to figure out what to do with themselves after a war that long and hard. Everyone had to become a warrior back then. Maybe some remembered what it was like before then, maybe some remembered who they were before the wars, but there would always be those that hadn't ever known anything but the wars. Like her. Like Tihaanth, for that matter.
"That's unfortunate," Inxae said, and then shrugged one shoulder. "I have good days. And then I have bad ones. I think today's a good one." So far it seemed to be a good one, at least. "Sometimes I have to hand the kid to someone else for a day because I can't stand being around other people. That seems like a weird reaction to me." Maybe Inxae was wrong. It wasn't like emotions were really a strong suit.
"How about you?" It was kind of sad that their family wasn't as large anymore. Festivals would be much weirder, and probably a bit quieter. It was always the silence after that made it difficult.
How did one settle into peace when the word 'peace' was something only heard in stories and fairy tales? That was another question that they would eventually have to find the answer for. All the missing pieces in their lives, so many family members, and friends, and people, in general, all over Yanan. Most of the Vasi were gone. There was only one flight left - a large flight, but still just one. It was... Yanan had been devastated by centuries of war, and there were many people who had never known anything else.
How did they move forward from here? How could Yanan repair from the damage done to it, and how could it's people recover.
In the end, that was probably what drove Balssysn to try and reverse the damage done by the Shade force. If they could do that much, then maybe Yanan would be a step closer to healing a thousand years worth of wounds. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on their part though. Bally had always known it might not be possible. But on the other hand... on the other hand, it was something that Balssysn could do. Even if it didn't work at least they could try.
And if it kept their hands and mind busy for a while, maybe it was worth it. There were, after all, gaping holes where there were supposed to be friends and family. Still, maybe Bally should remember to check in on their siblings a little more often. It didn't do to dwell on what may not even be possible and forget what was around them.
"I'm glad today is a good one." Mildly. "Though I don't think needing the space away from the little one is really an odd reaction. You've been through a lot, Inxae. Sometimes, everyone needs a little time alone." That was just sort of the way it was. It seemed normal to Bally at least, even if it was maybe sad to know that their sibling was suffering through so much on their own.
"I'm making it through one day at a time," Balssysn said quietly. "It's about all I can do. Looking to the future, but trying not to get ahead of myself. Looking too far ahead ..." They shook their head slightly. "There's always so much to do and it seems not enough time to do it in." And it was easy to be overwhelmed by that fact.
Most of the time, Balssysn's words managed to make Inxae feel a little better about whatever it is this time. Inxae was the one easily flustered, easily thrown off balance, the one that tried smothering and destroying everything remotely good that lived on the inside because the lives they led weren't really great ones. Kentari and Navan tried. No one could say they didn't, and Inxae would never.
It was partly Inxae's own fault, diving into things head-first without a care in the world, and then the destruction and devastation of war, on two different fronts, turned out to be harder than anticipated. Never mind the War of the Mythril Bracelet. Inxae tried to forget such a thing had ever happened, but doing so would also be a disservice to those that were lost to it.
But what had Inxae even lost, anyway? Everyone else had plenty of reasons to be upset. It wasn't like any of those reasons counted for Inxae. And still there were days when Inxae would much rather be left alone. Days when Inxae was angry at the necromancers, and angry at Edornis for being one, and none of that was very fair. Days when Inxae thought Moraxin might someday turn out to be a necromancer, and it was a mixture of fear and concern that always answered that thought, and at the same time, Inxae also knew the necromancer race played a very important part in the balance of things. Without them, Yanan was only sustaining more damage, and Inxae knew it.
And none of any of that was fair, anyway. So Inxae never talked about it. There was no point.
"We can't expect to undo almost fifteen hundred years of war overnight, Bally," Inxae said. "And there really is so much to do. It seems like we get one thing done and another thirty fall out of the closet." It did seem that way. And Inxae always felt so useless. Once, Inxae would've been the most active one in the Crusade trying to figure out how to fight back the Everfrost Tihaan had accidentally unleashed on Sarizobahael. The third layer had been hit the hardest by it, and Inxae honestly figured it was a side-effect of the War of the Mythril Bracelet. It just happened there were enough shades on Sarizobahael to manifest the negativity that Sarizobahael had already been drenched in for centuries. Nowadays, though, it was a fortune if Inxae even managed to make it out here once a month.
"You'll figure it out though," Inxae said, smiling a bit. "You're one of the smartest forcers I know." Well, maybe Kentari or Navan were a little smarter, only by virtue of being older.
"I know that." Balssysn murmured, and they did know that. They couldn't just undo what had been done, they couldn't bring back what had been lost. It wasn't so simple as that, and Bally did know that, and they did know it was going to take time to make any progress at all. That didn't make it any less of a reality that there was probably no information about what they were trying to find. After all, the Sparkling Cities had created the Shades, and no one really had had time to study them. They'd been too worried about not being destroyed.
"That is about what it feels like," Balssysn agreed with a short sound that was almost a laugh, but not quite. So much to do, and sure they had time to do it, but the struggle came down to what needed to be done most, what was the most important thing to complete.
What could they do to make sure nothing like this ever, ever happened again? How could they prevent such a tragedy? And what was going to happen to Yanan without the necromancers to keep the flow going? Clearly they'd have to figure something else out, but... what? And that was the problem, of course. They didn't know what, all they could do was continue going forward and do the best that they could to take care of their land and the people that were left.
"You flatter me." Balssysn murmured. "But thank you for the support, Inxae." They did appreciate it, it was just... it didn't feel like there was any progress to be made, and there were so many problems facing them all. Not just here on Sarizobahael but Yanan as a whole, and it was... it was going to take a lot of doing, Bally knew that.
"So... how are you and Edornis doing, just in general?" It'd been a bit of time since they last had the chance to talk, after all, and Bally was curious and did also really care. Family was important, they really were going to have to make a point of leaving to visit their sibling instead.
Inxae shrugged one shoulder. "Just being honest." It wasn't like Inxae had said if Bally couldn't figure it out no one could (that'd be lying, and Inxae typically didn't have the energy for lying). And it was just as well. Lying required remembering things, and sometimes Inxae could remember the most minute details. Other times, what was memory, Inxae didn't know.
Ah, well Inxae should've figured that question would've come up eventually. Inxae shrugged one shoulder. "Okay I guess," was the hedging response. "We're not doing badly, but you know, Edornis is the last necromancer and all. Lots of people want to distract my mate all the time, it's just something I should get used to I think. I'm mostly busy, until I'm not busy anymore, then I'm kind of bored." Well that was why Inxae and Moraxin were here.
Who, by the way, was a little too quiet. Inxae frowned, and then leaned over to one side, trying to find the pink one. "... if Moraxin destroys anything, I am very sorry." Well, Moraxin was usually pretty good about not destroying things. Inxae would just hope that held up because visiting the family only to mess up their library was actually quite rude. And even if Moraxin ignored Inxae, there'd likely be a conversation with Edornis that was harder to ignore.
Inxae stared in disappointment. Edornis had very disappointed words. They made quite a force together.